Dear God

Dear God,

I'm just not understanding why this is happening to me. The doctor's say that I need to have surgery or do IVF. Lord, you know I don't want surgery nor do I have the money for IVF. None of these options are even guaranteed. My body has betrayed me. It lies to me every month. I'm broken. It seems like like everyone around me is either pregnant or has babies. I can't even get a piece of mind at work because all I do is deal with pregnant women or women with their newborn babies. What did I do to deserve this? I mean I did everything right. I waited until marriage. I even waited until I was done with school so that my finances would be stable and I would have the time to spend with my child. It's just not fair. I'm a good person. I attend church regularly and I do my best to live by Your Word. How come my 19 year old patients have 3 children at home while currently pregnant with the 4th? I feel like I see pregnant people and babies everywhere I go. Why do people constantly ask me when I am going to have children? I feel so alone. I feel like no one understands what I am going through. My husband doesn't even get it. I have more sad days then I have happy days. I've never cried so much in my life. I feel like a crazed women because this is all I ever think about. I no longer enjoy family functions anymore because I am constantly reminded of my heart's desire. On top of that, there's guaranteed to be one person to ask me when I'm going to get pregnant. God, do you even hear my prayers? Do you see my tears? I've been praying about this for over a year now. I would have had a child by now if I would have gotten pregnant in the beginning. I'm so sick of feeling this way. When are you going to answer my prayers?

----Impatiently Waiting on A Miracle


My Child,

My child whom is fearfully and wonderfully made. Of course I hear your prayers. If only you knew how seriously I take them. Was it not you who prayed for Me to use you to bring glory to My name? Was it not you who prayed that My will be done in your life? Everything I do is because I love you. There is not one thing that happens to you, good or bad, that doesn't pass through My hands first. How will you ever have a TESTIMONY without a TEST? How will your FAITH ever grow if you never have to trust me completely? I see your tears and it hurts me to see you down but I know what's best for you. I know what the doctor's say, but that is irrelevant because I am the GREAT PHYSICIAN. Don't believe man's report, but believe MINE. I hear your prayers and you will receive your heart's desire at the APPOINTED TIME. I CHOSE you for this battle because I KNEW you could handle it. When it's all said and done, you will have unshakable FAITH that surpasses all understanding. Your testimony will inspire and encourage others. It will touch the lives of others. It's not always about the final destination. Sometimes what you need to learn is from the JOURNEY itself.  I know it's hard, but put ALL your trust in Me and focus on me during this time. I will give you JOY in your sadness. I will be STRONG in your weakness. And remember always that delayed doesn't mean denied.

Love,
Your Heavenly Father