The Strength to do Nothing

I was supposed to write the post a long time ago, but never did because of doubt. A couple of days, ago my husband gave me a nudge and convinced me to revisit this blog post. He suggested I write of post of what I was believing God for and the things I believe He is saying concerning this journey so that we can look back and see that God has answered our prayers. Not only for ourselves, but for others to believe. During this journey, I have been very specific with God. Many of the things I  am believing God for, I have been reluctant to share with others. One of the reasons is because sometimes, when you tell people these sorts of things, they have a way of putting doubt into your mind even if you didn't have it anywhere in your mind beforehand. Another reason would be that I second guess myself a lot and the things that I believe He says concerning my life. What if I'm wrong? What will people think? At this point, I'd rather be a fool for God than to miss out on an opportunity for Him to show His glory through this trial. What greater testimony would that be?

Sometime toward the end of 2010 (I really wished I would have remembered the date), I was prophesied to. I was told to not be discouraged and and that it (pregnancy/baby) was coming. I was almost a year into this struggle to have children and was so excited to hear this word from God. You couldn't have told me that I wouldn't have conceived that very same month. That, of course, didn't happen.
Then, on February, 10, 2012, I was told that in order to have children I would have to have surgery or go through IVF. At that point, I was considering surgery because it would give me the option to have children in the future without having to resort to IVF each time. On February 14, my husband and I received another word from God which told us to give Him until September. I didn't want to believe that God would make me that much longer for a baby. So nonetheless, I prayed about the options set before. Every time I prayed, I never felt fully comfortable doing the surgery or the IVF. As much as my mind wanted to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, my spirit wouldn't allow me to. I'm very proactive, so this was a first to me. My husband and I decided that we would step out on faith and wait on God. As much as we believed that God could use medicine to bless us, we didn't believe that would be the case for us this time around.

Even with the word from God, I still have moments of doubt and impatience. June 2, I had a dream that I believe confirmed the word from God. I don't particularly pay much attention to my dreams but this one stuck out to me. I don't remember much about the dream except for the dates September 9 and May 27.

Broadly, these are the things I pray for daily:
I pray for natural pregnancy that would prove the doctors wrong. I pray that everything from conception, to pregnancy, to delivery would have God's signature all over it. I pray everyone can look at my testimony and see that only God could do it. I am also praying for twins, a boy and a girl. How amazing that would be. That they would say I couldn't have one and God would show out and give me 2!

If you are reading this, I ask that you join me in prayer.

Until next time......